The Emotional Ups and Downs of Moving from Saving to Spending in Retirement

"You saved. You planned. You got here. So why does spending your own money feel like breaking the rules?"

For most of your working life, the rules were simple: spend less than you earn, save as much as you can, and trust that future-you will thank you for it. And now here you are: future you. The savings are there. The time is yours. So why is it so hard to actually enjoy it?

The shift from accumulation to spending is one of the least-discussed transitions in retirement, yet it catches many of us off guard. It's not just a financial adjustment. It's a deeply emotional one, and understanding that can make all the difference.

The Saver's Identity

Here's something worth sitting with: after 30 or 40 years of careful saving, being frugal isn't just a habit. It becomes part of who you are. The pride in a well-funded account. The quiet satisfaction of resisting an impulse buy. The identity of someone who is responsible, prepared, and in control.

Retirement asks you to dismantle that. Slowly, the number that once climbed now starts to dip — by design, yes, but that doesn't make it any easier to watch. For many retirees, the first few withdrawals can feel less like freedom and more like failure.

Recognising this is the first step. You haven't lost the plot. You're just meeting a version of yourself you haven't needed before.

The bill arrived. It wasn't large — a nice dinner, maybe a weekend away. But your hand hovered over the card anyway. You'd waited your whole career for this. So why did spending it feel so wrong?

The Fear of Running Out

Ask any financial planner and they'll tell you: the fear of running out of money is one of the most powerful forces in retirement psychology. It doesn't matter how much is in the pot. The anxiety doesn't neatly correlate with the balance.

This fear has a name in behavioural economics: loss aversion. We feel the pain of losing something roughly twice as strongly as the pleasure of gaining the same amount. So watching savings go down — even when you planned for it, even when it's the whole point — can feel more like a wound than a reward.

The antidote isn't recklessness — it's perspective. The goal wasn't to die with the largest possible number. The goal was to live well. Keeping that front of mind is harder than it sounds, but it's worth practising.

But If Savings Might Not Add Up

All that said, in the current (2026) climate of substantial rises in the cost of living, the fear of running out can be very real. In fact not just the fear of running out, but difficulty in continuing to afford everyday living expenses. In this context, postponing retirement or finding work in one form or another is worth considering. See our section on working and retirement work options.

Hopefully this can help cover everyday costs (as well as providing psychological benefits in the form of meaning and purpose and social links) so that you can still use your savings for the kind of special things and relaxation you always hoped for in retirement.

Permission to Spend

One of the strangest things about retirement is that many of us feel the need of some kind of explicit permission to enjoy what we've earned. Not legal permission — emotional permission. The inner voice that spent decades saying "not yet, not yet" doesn't automatically switch off on the day you retire.

One thing I’ve been trying out and found helpful is to reframe spending not as losing money, but as converting savings into experiences, enjoyment, and meaning — which, of course, is just what it was always intended for. I know others have found writing a "spending plan" (different from a budget) gives them the confidence to act: not a constraint, or an excuse to splurge, but a green light to go ahead with some spending: to book that weekend away; to buy those shoes; to 'invest' in that new turntable so you can listen to all those old records again – and retrieve those precious memories of great nights in that left their indelible mark in the vinyl.

Whatever your method, the shift usually has to be deliberate. It rarely just happens on its own.

The Guilt Trip

Guilt is the uninvited guest at many a retirement spend. It shows up when you book the business class seat, when you renovate the kitchen, when you treat the grandchildren to something special. Should I really be spending this? What if I need it later? Shouldn't I be leaving more behind?

Some of this is healthy prudence. But a lot of it is old programming. The voice of a younger self who had good reason to be careful, speaking into a situation that has genuinely changed.

It's also worth noting: many adult children don't want their parents to hold back. The inheritance they'd most value is the memory of a parent who actually lived.

The Joy of Spending Intentionally

Here's the good news, and it really is good: when spending aligns with what you actually value, it doesn’t feel like waste. Research consistently shows that spending on experiences — travel, time with family, learning something new — generates far more lasting happiness than spending on things.

Equally, spending on quality things, especially those that are beautiful and useful, repays you time and again in the pleasure they give you with every use. The sharp knife in the kitchen: what a joy it is to effortlessly slice through a tomato. A fountain pen that sits perfectly in the hand, the ink flowing smoothly as you move the nib across the paper, makes even writing a shopping list a joy.

The retirees who seem happiest aren't those who spend the most, or those who spend the least. They're the ones who spend with intention. They know what matters to them, and they direct their resources accordingly — without apology.

Finding Your New Normal

The transition from saving to spending isn't a single moment — it's a gradual recalibration. Most people find they need a year or two before a new rhythm feels natural. And that's okay.

A few things tend to help. Talking openly about money with a partner or trusted friend removes some of the isolation. Working with a financial adviser who understands the psychology (not just the maths) can also make a real difference. And giving yourself genuine "fun money" — a portion of your income set aside with no justification required — can unlock a sense of freedom that surprises you.

Most importantly: be patient with yourself. You spent decades becoming the person who saved. Becoming the person who spends wisely and joyfully takes a little time too.

The Real Purpose of All That Saving

We owe it to ourselves not to sit on the sidelines of our own retirement. You saved so that you could have choices — real ones. The freedom to travel, to be generous, to rest without worry, to pursue the things you kept putting off.

We need to remind ourselves that the goal was never the number in the account. It was always the life the number could make possible. After all, the point of the wine cellar is to enjoy the wine (Eventually!)

So yes — spend on the trip. Book the table. Buy that ‘special thing’ you’ve always wanted. Not recklessly, but intentionally. With gratitude for the discipline that got you here, and genuine delight in what it's bought you.

You've earned this.

Please note: The opinions stated in this article are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. Every effort is made to ensure accuracy of information. It is highly recommended to seek financial advice before making major decisions about your pension and work status.

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